One of the greatest advantages of having close friendships is that our friends can support and help us when things get difficult in our lives.

In exchange for the assistance our good friends give us throughout a crisis, the majority of us also help our close friends when they need it.

Within a romantic relationship between two emotionally healthy adults, the roles of giving and receiving help are balanced. Both people provide help and get help from one another in roughly equal amounts.

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However, you will discover many people who often take on the role of being the helper, regardless of what relationship they are in.

These people have friendships that concentrate exclusively on attempting to resolve the issues of their close friends. We occasionally call this quality "co-dependency", and we might label people that are obsessed with helping other people "co-dependent".

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A person who's co-dependent will have a tendency to have relationships with those who have a lot of difficulties - emotional, social, familial and financial. The co-dependent individual might devote much of their own time, funds, and energy helping other people that have issues, while ignoring the issues in their very own life.

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Why would someone be co-dependent?

An individual who's co-dependent usually suffers from a deep sense of worthlessness and anxiety, and tries to derive a sense of self-worth by assisting or rescuing other people.

An individual who's co-dependent might not know how to loosen up and feel comfy in a friendship where both individuals are equals and the relationship is based on enjoying each other's company.

Listed here are some questions you may ask yourself to determine whether your "helping" behavior might actually be co-dependency:

- Do you have a difficult time saying no to other people, even if you are extremely busy, financially broke, or totally exhausted?

- Are you always sacrificing your own personal requirements for everybody else?

- Do you really feel much more worthy as a human being simply because you have taken on a helping role?

- When you stopped helping your close friends, would you feel guilty or worthless?

If you answered "yes" to lots of these concerns, you might indeed have an issue with co-dependency.

This doesn't mean that you simply are a flawed individual.

It means that you simply are spending a lot of energy on other people and very little on yourself.

When you suspect that your helping behavior is really a type of co-dependency, a very good therapist or counselor might help you get perspective on your behavior and learn a more balanced way of relating to other people.

There are lots of excellent books out there on the topic of co-dependency. One terrific book is neil strauss the game on the game strauss internet site. Lots of guys get girls by using this book. Support groups like Al-Anon may also help.

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