It’s a common fear among many couples that fertility problems are going to wreak havoc on their marriage and even lead to divorce. Women in particular seem to harbor the fear that their husbands feel as if they are failing them, and will trade them in for a “working model.” However, it has been proven that many couples are able to address and even overcome their fertility problems to not only keep their marriage together, but to make it even stronger as well. So how can a couple do this? How can they be sure that their marriage one of those that not only survives, but that thrives, even through the terribly difficult issue of fertility problems? Let’s discuss a few pointers here.
Communication is Key
One of the worse mistakes any couple can make when dealing with fertility problems is to keep their thoughts and feelings bottled up inside. This can only cause tension and further stress, not only for themselves, but on their marriage as well. It’s important to keep up with regular communication between the two of you. And remember, communication means listening as well as talking, so it’s important to listen as much as it is to talk. Are you really hearing what your spouse is telling you about his or her feelings and expectations? Are you willing to step up and be there for him or her in the way they really need?
Avoid Blame and Anger
Remember, your fertility problems are probably not your partner’s fault, and even if it is, there is no reason for blame or anger. Remember that things happen that are often out of one’s control, and there’s no reason to allow resentment to build. Additionally, avoiding blame for fertility problems means not putting unnecessary blame on yourself either. Even if you are the one who has physical limitations that are causing issues with conception, again, there is no need for unnecessary anger or resentment. Many people are born with physical issues they need to have addressed and that perhaps interfere with their marriage; this is part of the world we live in today.
Appreciate the Good
Your fertility problems do not need to define you or your marriage. Chances are there are many, many positive things in your life and your relationship overall that you can still appreciate and enjoy individually and as a couple. Make time for activities that you can do together, and be sure that you don’t talk about your fertility issues during this time. Remember that there are probably many things in your life that you can still enjoy while working on addressing your fertility problems.
If you do these things, you’re sure to find that your marriage will be one that survives even the roughest patches. However, don’t assume that these things will just take care of themselves. Make a point to apply these principles, and speak to your spouse about them as well.